Lifestyles Continue to Change as You Get Older

As we go through life, our lifestyles change at various stages.  We lived as an infant, a child, a young adult.  Then maybe we married, raised a family, and then watched the children leave to start their own families.  At each point we lived in a certain way that made up our lifestyle at that stage.

As we age, there are more lifestyle changes to consider.  Maybe enjoying retirement, which could mean an active lifestyle in a high-rise, in the country, or on a lake.  To some it may mean downsizing to a retirement community, but still living an independent and active lifestyle.  Eventually, as abilities to care for ourselves decline, a move to an assisted living facility may be needed.  Usually, this move is necessary when one needs care with meal preparation, bathing, dressing, or administering medication properly.  Often times, if a move to an assisted living facility occurs at the right time, an individual can live longer in an assisted living facility with dignity and a degree of independence, than if he or she had attempted to continue to live independently. 

Sometimes even more care is eventually needed, such as twenty-four hour attention by nurses.  This usually means placement in a nursing home or care at home with full-time caregivers, which can be very expensive

No one really wants to go into a nursing home.  Many people will tell you they have no plans to ever go into a facility.  However, go into any nursing home and ask for a show of hands of all the residents who planned on being there.   You won’t see one raised hand. 

This leads one to wonder, when should a person consider going to a nursing home?  It is hard to say and different for each person. 

The following factors should be considered:

1. Does your loved one need to be monitored by nurses 24/7
2. Does your loved one need medication to be administered at appropriate times by a licensed nurse?
3. Has your loved one become progressively dependent with the assistance of his or her activities of daily living (i.e. eating, dressing, bathing)?
4. Is the amount of home care assistance needed likely to become so great that it is not an affordable option for your loved one?
5. Has your loved one gotten lost?  Is he or she able to remember personal information, such as address, phone number, contacts that would enable him or her to return home?

Many children will testify that their healthy parent has taken care of their ill parent at home long beyond what they should have and, as a result, their healthy parent has shaved years off of their own life. 

Sometimes it comes down to overcoming the guilt involved with placement of a loved one into a nursing home or becoming ill yourself.  If the healthy spouse stays healthy, then he or she can provide the individualized love and emotional support that only the spouse can provide.  If the healthy spouse becomes ill because of providing twenty-four hour care or doing heavy lifting then the special care will not be able to be provided.

One way to figure out when it is time to make a change in lifestyle is to get a competent evaluation by a geriatric physician or geriatric social worker.  Ask the health care professional to give an opinion as to the type of lifestyle that would be best for you or your family member.  Be flexible and listen to what your family and the professionals say.